


Falling's just like flying except there's a more permanent destination

by InspiredPet



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dark, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Drama, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 09:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5328908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InspiredPet/pseuds/InspiredPet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is Jim really on the side of the demons? Or maybe he's just trying to do something impossible? Be on the both sides. He's sooo changeable, right? He always does what he pleases. So what will he do when he find a girl on the edge of her life? Will he help her end or save her life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling's just like flying except there's a more permanent destination

**Author's Note:**

> It's kinda depressing and sad but the girl plans to kill herself, so it has to be like that, sorry. ^^ There's a lot of drunk thoughts and I'm not sure if it sounds like something deep or just pretentious, I hope it's not that bad at all. I tried to put some humour in it so it wouldn't be so dramatic all the time. I can only hope you like it and give me some feedback, because that's what it's all about, right? ^^ Also I'm sorry, Jim's not here very much, but I'll put his pov in the next chapter (I hope I won't lose my muse by this time. ^^ There's a lot of hope in me as you can see, more than in the girl, lol).

Waiting. Wating is the worst. Doesn't matter if you wait for something to happen or you wait for something to stop happening. It's all the same. Waiting...  
\- ...is the worst - I took a sip from a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and squinted at a seagull flying toward the sun. Whisky tastes the best at the sunset. But waiting, waiting tastes like a sour grapefruit. And a suspense.  
\- Suspens is killing me! - I said loud. I think I read that joke on tumblr. Serial killer named Suspense. Wouldn't be funny to be killed by Suspense? I laughed bitterly, I've always had a weird sense of humour, maybe that's why I found it kinda funny to kill myself by jumping from an abandoned building where I used to feel the most alive. Yeah, it's a long story.  
I took another big gulp and stood up. I was like on a fifth or sixth floor, standing on the edge of something that looked like a terrace or a balcony. Whatever it was, the most of it was lying on the ground way down below. I took a deep breath, the last one, that's what I thought, preparing to jump and then I heard something. It could be nothing, you know, a rat scratching, a wind howling, or a building falling apart... But you know, sometimes when you wait for something, you need to check everything just to be sure.  
I carefully put my head back into the building and looked around. It was kinda dark in here, that's all, nothing was happening, but I thought I heard something again. Someone was coming? Might be, the building used to be a factory, an interested place for any urban explorers. I put down my JD and walked deeper into that godforsaken place. I had to. You understand, I couldn't let myself being caught by some fucking hero wannabe. Or at least that was what I said so.  
I moved to the stairs or what was left of them and pricked up my ears. There was something, and I could swear on my precious JD it wasn't a wind.  
\- Damn it - I started to walked down the stairs. They were steep and had a lot of debris but I've visited that place so many times it wasn't that difficult for me to walk on them quickly. As I took another turn I felt my body bounced from something soft. I immediately looked up but that something was already falling down and falling fast, and the worst part? It wasn't something, it was someone.  
\- Oh fuck! - I rushed to the man that I accidentally pushed down the stairs, he was lying on his back now, his hands and legs were outstretched in different directions and there was blood under his head. All over his head in fact, there were really a lot of debris.  
\- No good, Jesus, no good... - I crouched beside him to check if he was still alive but I couldn't force myself to touch him. I poked him once or twice but I got no respond from him. I took a deep breath, not the last one as I saw, and took a look at him. He didn't look like a typical explorer to me, excluding his troglodyte face, he wore a cargo pants and a black t-shirt, also a black leather jacket and a gun in his pants...Wait, what? He had a gun. And, to be honest, he looked like a type of guy who liked to wave it a lot. I stood up, I wasn't sure anymore if I wanted to wake him up. He'd be pissed off for sure. And he had a gun. Which was not a good combine. He also was unconscious and bleeding, so it would be safer to just assumed he was still alive. I made up my mind quickly, like I always did after alcohol. I turned around and walked away.

As I went to the adjacent room I walked through the hole in the wall and suddenly I stood in front of three guys who pointed guns to each other. Well two of them anyway, the third was just standing beside the tallest one and was looking at me with a surprise on his face. Both of his hands were into pockets and he looked so...nonchalant? I didn't know. His face changed into nothing in a matter of second. The guy he was standing next to saw me too, but he tried not to look at me directly. He had a short hair and a ginger beard. His clothes were similar to the guy from the stairs. The last one was standing with his back against me so I couldn't see his face and he probably didn't know I was there. He was wearing a black suit, the same as the nonchalant guy and he was bald. They were all just standing there in a totaly silence. With loaded guns ready to shot. Total quiet.  
And you know what they say about suspense? Except that "it's killing me"? It can be very hard to handle.  
-Wow, there's more of you - so I said.  
Bang!  
Yeah, suspense killed again.  
It took me a while to understand what was that sound and where it came from. I covered my ears and cringed. As I saw a body lying in front of me bleeding it still didn't come to me. I blinked once, I blinked twice, the suspense was on me now. The ginger beard man and the nonchalant man were looking at me expectantly. So I did what I thought was the best solution. I ran into the hole in the wall. The only way was upstairs so I rushed to the man I left before. Karma or something.  
\- Wait!  
I stopped right away. I even put my hands up. Don't ask why, I guess some things you do unconsciously. I swallowed hard. I slowly turned around to meet my fate, except no one was pointing gun at me. They both were looking at the man covered in blood and lying motionless on the ground. Then they looked at me.  
\- No, no ,no! It's not... - I started waving my hands as I always did when I tried to nervously explain something - He fell off the stairs. Well, he tripped and fell off the... He tripped over me and fell off the stairs... I bounced! - I closed my eyes as I realized how unbelievably it sounded. I looked at them again, the man in suit looked like he was pondering something - Oh, I understand, I saw and heard nothing, I'm not even here - I raised my hands in surrender - You can go back and kill some more.  
The man in suit raised his eyebrows. "Dammit." I was slowly walking toward the stairs - I mean, I don't know what's happening - I really wanted to get out of this situation, I had a feeling it could only go worse, but the lying man was kinda blocking my way so I stopped. I still had my hands above my head.  
\- Check him - the man in suit commanded coldly and ginger beard man approached him to do so. After that he didn't say anything just shook his head.  
\- Is he dead? - I asked horrified. He looked at me then to his...boss I guess? Like he was loking for permission to answer me. The nonchalant just blinked.  
\- He broke his neck, so yeah, he's pretty much dead - the bearded man answered as he stood up.  
\- He's...He's dead - I nodded shocked - Of course, he's... - I clutched my head - At the end of my life I had to kill someone, obviously - I said in disbelief to myself as I tried to step over his dead body. I stumbled and stepped on his leg almost loosing my balance - Sorry - I said to the dead one as I reached the stairs.  
Yeah, insentient behaviour.

I didn't wait for them and it seemed like they weren't gonna go after me so I went back to my suicidal place catching my whisky and drinking it almost to the bottom. I didn't want to think what happened, it was clearly too much. I just planed to kill myself, not someone. And it wasn't my intention to be a witness of a murder. That supposed to be a nice simple evening and now it was fucked up. As I watched the sun hidding behind the horizont and let the wind tousling my hair so it could become simple again I felt someone stood behind me. I sighed.  
\- You came here to tell me I saw too much and you have to kill me? - my voice got hoarse so I cleared my throat.  
\- No.  
The answer was firm although the voice was soft. I turned around to face the man and I saw him standing close to me, almost too close. I could see his eyes black as a stormy sky, not even dark brown, just black. He was studying my face and I tried to see his pupils but even though his face was only a few inches from mine I couldn't find them. I took a step back to see him more clearly. The alcohol only blurred my vision. The man didn't say anything except I thought I saw a concern on his face as I got closer to the edge, but it disappeared within one second.  
\- You know it would be better if it was a new year - I said to break the silence - It would be ironically funny - I looked away - Why have i never thought of this? - I took the last sip of the bottle.  
\- Thought of what?  
\- It would be a new year, close to the midnight - I grabbed the bottle by its neck - I'd be counting down like 6... - I started to swing it as I was counting down - ...5...4...3...2,1! - the bottle flew away a few yards before it started to fall down. I pointed at it - But that would be me instead - My finger followed the bottle until it crashed to the ground.  
Two seconds passed in silence before the man decided to speak again.  
\- I'm Jim by the way.  
I looked at him and shook his hand, his was cold, but so was mine - I'm Amy.  
He smiled - Nice to meet you Amy, even though the circumstances are rather odd.  
I smiled back coz what else could I do? I didn't know what he wanted from me and honesty I was too drunk to care in that moment.  
\- The view is quite nice up here - he said as he looked at the sun that was almost gone below the horizon - but I think I know a better place to admire the view.  
\- Oh... I'm not here to...  
\- I know - he cut me off - But you don't wanna really do it here - he licked his lips as he stared at me intensely - Look down dear and tell me what do you see.  
That request was weird, was he trying to push me down when I wouldn't looking? Oh well... I looked down.  
\- I see grass, some rubble, a pile of sand... - I looked back at him - Oh, the pile of sand would cushion my fall.  
He gently nodded.  
\- But it still can work - I leaned out a little bit more.  
\- Yeah, but why risking? - he shrugged - I know taller building with even better view. I can take you there.  
I looked at him suspiciously - Why would you do that?  
\- Coz I help people to do things they cannot do, I fix things. You see, that's part of my job.  
I found his smile mischievous but oddly enough he seemed to be honest with me. He wanted to help. And he could be quite right about that jumping. I wasn't sure what to do and I was so tired of it. Jim was standing in front of me unmoved by anything, just waiting for my decision.  
Waiting is the worst.  
\- Fine, I'll go with you.


End file.
